The little red book became my journal when I was doing my practice period at the Green Gulch Zentre. It was kept to almost day to day like a diary jotting down my moods and feelings, my reactions towards others and my self.
Green Gulch changed my life or at least healed me from alot of ailments that i had not realized I had otherwise. My weaknesses and neorosises came to the surface on many occaisions and thanks to those present in the 'Practice Period" I was helped to see my way through them.
I found Zen Buddhism to be the ideal teaching for me then as it was not so restrictive and unforgiving as most other institutionalized religions are. i find my fellow Zen students most of whom were highly intelligent and accomplished in their noemal lives to be most supportive and compassionate towards my shortcomings.
I was at my cross roads when i ended up at the Zen Centre, my life was down to zero by all counts, I had nothing to look foreward to nor fall back upon, I was on the brink of being a homeless in San Francisco.
So out of desperation I clung on to my father's advice to me, he said for me to "Trust in the Tripple Jem" when you are in need the most. I had not understood what he said at the time he said it but was only curious about what he meant as i had always considered myself a Muslim.
Hence at green Gulch I gave myself up to the teachings of Shakyamuni Buddha and it all became simple i found out as i settled down into the Zen Community; I healed my splintered soul, became less angry at the world around me and learned how to appreciate who I am.
It was at this time in my life that I met someone from Switzerland and our reltionship ended with her having my child upon return to her home without my knowing about it,not untill my son was seventeen years of age.
The little red book is now in my son's possesion, I gave it to him when I visited him in Switzerland a few months ago.
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