What else is new and exciting?

Last i heard my twin is on his way to the KL Heart Institute for further checkups and my prayers goes with him that all will be fine. What can i say him being half an hour older than me, it could be my turn next. I know i will not be as fortunate as he as I highly doubt that all my cousins and close relatvies would travel all the way to visit me at the hospital bed like they did him. It has never been an easy thing to bethe black sheep of the family and a poor one at that and if anything i have learned is that when you have money you can do no wrong as they say even your shit smells great. Deep down inside of me i love my brothers and it had never occured in my heart to have any ill feelings towards any of them, disaapointed and angry at times , yes but to hate them with no recociliation, no. I have played the little brother role for most of my life, not standing up to my elders even when i felt like slam dunking their attitude through the hoop sometimes. I cannot and i'd rather remove myself from their prescence and thus i have lived apart almost my entire life if and whenever i could help it.
Now as i too approach the hole in the ground it does not really matter anymore whehther they like me or hate me for who I am and so goes for their children and grandchildren for that matter, what matter is that I know deep within me why i am who I am and that is what I have been seeking to find out most of my life. Perhaps it has been a long fruitless quest for no rhyme or reason for most, but for me life has thrown too many curved balls not to develop a a strong understanding based on my personal experiences, my own self discoveries and observations. I have taken upon the quest as set by the Buddha in his teachings and that is the establish my own 'Dharma position', the ground on which I stand and deliver. Placing no man above nor below me i have walked this life creating and destroying karmas so i can dive deep into this so called mysteries of life. Greed, Hate and Dellussions have been my guide in my effort to avoid becoming trapped into their snares. My cravings and desires, my anger and carelessness have been great teachers guiding me into becoming liberated from this physical realm and its illusions. I have strived to live life on my terms not to bow to any norm, faith or belief. I know my limitations and accept the inevitable with no remores. I strive to the best of my ability to live life with utmost gusto despite my shortcomings and weaknesses and when i exit i aim to exit with grace and my dignity intact having to justify to none of why I was what i was..
As Frank Sinatra sang, "I did it My Way..."