Monday, June 21, 2010

Humind-scape a Bahari Solo Exhibition.

My upcoming Solo Exhibition will happen on the 10th. of July and it will be Officiated by my Chinese brother LeeKhai at the Penang Malays Art Gallery on Chulia Street. The oppening will be at 5.30 PM on Saturday which also falls on the Governor's Birthday.
I will try to get a few picture samples of what will be on the walls if and when I get around to getting the pictures.
It has been quite a while since i last had a show and many local friends have been wondering if i had decided to quit and become a full time lecturer instead. Well I keep telling them that fact that i will not have a show just for the sake of keeping up with the pack and that i will have a show only when I feel ike something new and exciting happens, something that is not my usual stuff and in the last week or two something did. While discussing with my friend Rashid on what to do we started reflecting upon the idea of breaking away from the groove, create something that is not associated with our style or technique. This discussion led to the simplest technique that he thought I should explore, Marbling. I dont know if it is the right term used but the technique I learned in primary school was something no many has explored and it is what I decided to create my works from.
Yesterday I invited Leekhai to view about twenty framed pieces and he had a luke warm reaction to them. I cna understand this as Lee has always expected to see my dramatic slashes of lines drawn with confidence and accuracy as he deemed my stength lies in. But here he is looking at a bunch of amaturish pices of manipulated colo designs which, "anyone can achieve".
I agreed with him partly but all night long i dwelled on this and have come to the conclusion that I will stand my ground and take the chances of being rejected by my audiences, I have to test the waters. I have always maintained that my works are never finished but ar part and process of an ongoing project and this is yet another experiment which I hope to continue into the future culminating in the combination of all that i have learned and utilized in the effort to create my very own works.
From the fiscal perpective i am gambling with the hope to make some extra cash so that i can register my daughter into college comes the Month of August. It is a lame excuse for having an exhibition but... I am not my brother. So if there are those who read this and decide to lend a helping hand come buy a piece or two and donate towards a cause...the elegant beggar is reaching out again.
So, Father's Day came yesterday and went and what do I feel about fatherhood? Well after reading the first two paragraphs you might sum up the idea of what a man would be willing to sacrifice for his children. Today is also my son Karim's Birthday and i just wished him so in his FaceBook. Last night my friend Shaparin and i drove to his friend's house to pick up an old violin that need fixing but is still in good condition and this will be karim's birthday present along with Shaparin's offer to become his music teacher. Shaparin is an artist and an extraordinary musician, he will make a great teacher for my son as he is also not too much older than Karim but has seen and tasted life alot more than most his age. So it will entirely up to my son to make it happen if this is his calling, I personally feel it is but than I could be wrong and well it will still be a good birthday present even if the violin is made in China and is on loan for him to start off with... a great humble beginning for a genius waitng to explode.

Friday, June 11, 2010

What else is new and exciting?

Last i heard my twin is on his way to the KL Heart Institute for further checkups and my prayers goes with him that all will be fine. What can i say him being half an hour older than me, it could be my turn next. I know i will not be as fortunate as he as I highly doubt that all my cousins and close relatvies would travel all the way to visit me at the hospital bed like they did him. It has never been an easy thing to bethe black sheep of the family and a poor one at that and if anything i have learned is that when you have money you can do no wrong as they say even your shit smells great. Deep down inside of me i love my brothers and it had never occured in my heart to have any ill feelings towards any of them, disaapointed and angry at times , yes but to hate them with no recociliation, no. I have played the little brother role for most of my life, not standing up to my elders even when i felt like slam dunking their attitude through the hoop sometimes. I cannot and i'd rather remove myself from their prescence and thus i have lived apart almost my entire life if and whenever i could help it.
Now as i too approach the hole in the ground it does not really matter anymore whehther they like me or hate me for who I am and so goes for their children and grandchildren for that matter, what matter is that I know deep within me why i am who I am and that is what I have been seeking to find out most of my life. Perhaps it has been a long fruitless quest for no rhyme or reason for most, but for me life has thrown too many curved balls not to develop a a strong understanding based on my personal experiences, my own self discoveries and observations. I have taken upon the quest as set by the Buddha in his teachings and that is the establish my own 'Dharma position', the ground on which I stand and deliver. Placing no man above nor below me i have walked this life creating and destroying karmas so i can dive deep into this so called mysteries of life. Greed, Hate and Dellussions have been my guide in my effort to avoid becoming trapped into their snares. My cravings and desires, my anger and carelessness have been great teachers guiding me into becoming liberated from this physical realm and its illusions. I have strived to live life on my terms not to bow to any norm, faith or belief. I know my limitations and accept the inevitable with no remores. I strive to the best of my ability to live life with utmost gusto despite my shortcomings and weaknesses and when i exit i aim to exit with grace and my dignity intact having to justify to none of why I was what i was..
As Frank Sinatra sang, "I did it My Way..."

Monday, June 07, 2010

So! Whats the Buzz!!!

Last Friday I received a call informing me that my twin had a heart attack and was in critical condition at the Kuala Terengganu hospital. My first reaction to the news was no, it is not hist time yet, he lives through this. my second thoguht was i had to drive there like it or not. I was there the week earlier with my daughter taking advantage of the semester break from and so the prospect of doing another trip there was not really what i looked forward to as I was still suffering my lower back pains from the last trip. Butt.. such is..
Drove from Penang towards Manjung ,Perak to fertch my sister living at her duaghter's house there but along the way found out that one of my cousins was joining us and I decided to avoid Manjung and headed for Grik where Iwould wait for them. They arrived and i left my car in front of the police station in Grik and joined them for the drive from Grik to Kuala Terengganu. Later found out that I had left my LG handphone on the front seat of the car!! This is the phone that naz, my son had bought for me when i visited him in Dubhai, hence no ordinary handphone.
Arrived in KTr. at down and managed to talk the Gaurds and nurses into letting us in to see my twin. He was lying in bed just after the morning wash and I looked at him for awhile in his sleep and saw myself stripped of all egos and humbled by physical helplessness. My twin brother, the man who has everything a man could ask for, a man I never got to know nor got along with our entire lives.
As I stood there beside his bed alone as my sister left the room for one reason or another many thoughts ran through my mind but one thing i was certain, he will pull through this bout. he opened his eyes and saw me and flicked his fingers inviting me to hold them, I did, lifting them to my lips and then just simply held the hand and stood there saying nothing untill my sister came back. I left the room after kissing his forehead and saying the words that came to my mind spontaneously, I love You...