Livestrong! - The Lance Amstrong story

Yesterday my son and I sat in his 'mini theater' and watched Le Tour de France which showed Lance Amstrong's ride of the decade into being 7 times Le Tour's wearer of the 'yellow jersey'. I had just completed reading his book entitled; Lance Amstrong, 'It's Not About the Bike' and in some instantces was moved by the man's discriptions of his struggle with Testicle cancer which almost robbed him of his life and later came back to become the 7 times Tour champion. It was a very straight to the core and a revealing kind of sharing of one's experience with fear and death, about being brought to one's knees and about rising to overcome and rebounding against all odds. It is about a human triumph against the most feared of deseases- cancer.

I have often enough ran my mouth to those who likes to moan and groan about all their misgivings in life like yours truly, not to make it a cancer case and this is a quote from my one time Love of my life Ms. Debby Marsh who used it on me ever so often. It has stuck with me ever since to a great extent has become an antedote to alot of moments in my life when things got too tangled up. Having read Amstrong's challenges against this number one killer among deseases I felt humbled by reflecting on how my own mother spent nine years of her life as a 'guinea pig' in the search for the cure of Tuber Culosis at the Lady Templar general Hospital in Kuala Lumpur. How my family was torn assunder by the very fact that she was not with us for the most part of her life to make right the wrongs that befell each and every single member of my sibblings as we grew up at the mercy of others, for a mother is othe one person who will protect her children come what may and without her one's life and future is an open game. Amstrong's mother and not his wife was the totem pole of his life in his hours of need.

last year I lost someone I love to cancer of the throat, my brother-in law Syed Ahmad Syed Abd. Rahman who passed away while in the Cancer Resaerch Institute(?) in Kuala Lumpur. I was with off and on while he s suffering from this killer and held his hands and massaged his frail and fleshless body while whispering meaningless words like dont give up, hang in there and at the very end before they took him to the hospital from Kuala terenggnau to KL, I whispered for him to 'letting go, which was the most painful thing for me to do but needed to let him know that clingign on to this life is what is holding him back and prolonging his pains. There was apoint in our touching each other's hand that he was abled to held and squeezed my hand an I felt like it was a farewell gesture just before i left to return to Penang. The very next morning they removed him to KL Hospital where he passed on. Had i came across Lance Amstrong's book in facing his ordeal I am positive that i would have done alot more, understanding how.

I was also moved to reflect upon the fate of my present wife Nancy Buss Bahari who is at present sitting in a Nursing Home somewhere in Southern Illinois, withering away from the effects of Altzeimer's desease. There is no known cure for her as two medical specialists wrote to me and so the chances of being with my wife as i had known her is gone forever unless the AlMighty is merciful enough to grant me yet another Saving Grace and make things happen, its a Miracle of miracles, it would be but hey the Creator is full of surprises if one believe in Him absolutely and nothing id beyond His mysterious ways... I am a believer!

The day before I left Penang to come here I made a donation of one of my paintings valued at 4000RM to the TB Foundation in Malaysia under the auspices of the USM Organizers of an expositon held a day earlier at the G Hotel and officially opened by the Vice Chancellor, I was there for the ceremony. This was my contribution towards the quest for cure of this almost forgotten number two killer in- the past at least, it was for the memory of my mother, may Allah protect her and keep her safe in His mercy for she had suffered long enought when she was alive. I know of this first hand as in my teenage years i used to share the same bedroom with her and watched her across from me every night sitting up to breath and the pain the was written on her face with every breath and burps she made, it was painful for me to even watch at times and i would bury my head into the pillows pretending I was asleep. Such Is Life!

Yesterday as i was strolling with my son inside the Video shop at the Mall of the Emerates I came upon a book and started reading it because I was attracted to its title.."The End of Karma" by Dharma Singh Khalsa, M.D. When I first saw it I thought to myself, yep, here's another spiritual guide towards better lving kind of book but what the heck, lets see what it has to offer. I was pleasantly surprised that the book is about spiritality based on the teachings of Guru Nanak, the founder of Sikhism. Another gift, another perspective another door another road sign towards that which i seek only from someone I have long heard of but never got know about. So be it, while my son got his purchase of videos I got my spiritual reading.

Introducti0n

"God is only One, the Doer of everything...this is also your true identity..."
As a Muslim, whenever I seethe word 'God' I replace it Allah(SWT), and this statement is my personal statement to myself over the years although with slight reservation out of respect (adab) towards my Maker. I believe that only the essence or (Zat) of The Creator is hidden within me or that I am merely a twinkling or His pressence or manifestation and further more I do not trust that I have complete power over my ego, Thus with every positive affirmation I make upon myself from whatever sources i might have learned throughout my journey the Islamic way of saying 'Insha'Allah' of God willing is added silently to myself. Yes I believe in His will and not mine that dictates my every move, thoughts and actions, right or wrong is my personal choice. If our great modern day 'Ulama's and religious teachers could express the Devine knowledge in the language that i can comprehend best, (which is English for me) I would more than gladly had read them and put them to the task of understanding. Unfortunate to my sense of regret I amnot well verse in Bahasa Melayu and even worse when it comes to the Quranic language of the Arabs, so when a book comes to me and my gut feelings whispers in my ear that this is it, I grab the book and make it my companion for the duration of the journey.

I am hooked for the next few pages and the shop sold another item and the Author got another disciple for the duration of the reading. Such too Is Life!

Everytime i pray to the AlMighty, ( which is almost daily) I have asked Him, among other things to protect and guide my children adding with, wherever they are. Yesterday evening when we returned from the mall and opened my email I found a mail from my long lost son who happens to be in the Swiss Alps somewhere. Although I never expressed my thoughts and feelings to many but in my heart whenever I spoke to my Maker I had included and special prayer for my Swiss boy and last night i felt overwhelmed to receive his email after months of being incognito. Alhamdullilah!! Just knowing that he too is thinking of me was a blessing to my undeserving heart. Thank you Lord for this miracle of blogging! Alhamdullilah!!