Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Its all in the Tummy!


I wrote my blog yesterday afternoon while at the University Sains Muzium Gallery and was having such a struggle to get things down as my mind was simply not into it. Then i decided to write anyway just to break the lethargy and find oout the cause of my being in such a state of mental block,I did. By the time i was through I had written a lengthy discussion over nothing and managed to at least get my thoughts down into a more active participation over what I was doing. It was a very good exercise in pinpointing what was the cause of my lethargic feeling and at the same tiem i was able to look into my past actions of recent days seeing if I made any sense and where or what the devil i was into. Not having the car ready is one good cause for a little mental depression and not being able to be myself in creating my latest works is a major cause no doubt. However there was one immediate cause that i failed to take note of and it came to me later on after I had completed my blog.

After the blogging I had stopped by the mini-library that the Muzium has in the front corner room of the building and ther are some collection of books mostly on art and philosophy. I was browsing along the shelf of the books on Islam and islamic Philosophy when I cam across a book by Imam Ghazali the Muslim Philosopher and religious Teacher. After having read through about two chapters of the book which is in Bahasa Malaysia I discovered the answers to my mental and physical predicament that i was experiencing: over eating! From reading the book I come to realize that my stomach was full to the max and thus my mind had become slothful and was incapable of being creatively active and this has always been the case in the past which i had failed to address. The Prophet (SAW) was quoted from His hadith on numerous occaisions about the ill-effacts of over eating and the virtue of hunger and fasting. I would loved to have shared a few of these had I the book with me right now, however suffice to say that nope, eating too much does not do good for your creative mental state, maybe good for your slothful sleepy state. So today i decided to eat less and still feels like my tummy is bloated and my mind is not as up to par for any intelligent relfections. And why is my yesterday's blog not entered? Good Question but bad karmic answer, I was too greedy, I was trying to add tose quotes from the hadiths and imam gahzali's words on over eating that somehow i lost the whole blog! I was not pissed or disappointed because it seems to be okay now that these things happens in my life.
But one thing I learn and at my age an important thing it is, and that is watch what you eat and how much you eat as it has a very strong effect upon your temprement, your mental state and your emotional and psychological balances. Obessity is not the only problem one faces from overeating or eating at the wrong time for the wrong reasons. Sometimes we eat like there is no end to it simply because we can afford to or the food is there and sometimes we convince ourselves that we should enjoy it all while we can because when we are ill often times food is the last thing we can enjoy, so eat while you can and whatever we can so long as it is good and tasty and wash it all down wirh a good glass of cold drink. A Big Mac! A juicy KFC or a good plate of Nasi Kandar, a T-Bone Steak- meduim rare, Char Koay Teaow with shrimps and pickled green Chillis, Food! Marvelous food! A Pecan pie, a Macadamia nut Sundae, a Good pineapple slush, a extra large bowl of Ice Kacang with Ice Cream! How great to be alive with all these food available to you. I have been blessed when it comes to food for I have tasted just about every western food and Eastern food there is to taste as I have lived in both the East and west of Malaysia as well as of the planet. The best food I have enjoyed most was when i was living in the Zen Buddhist monastery in Sausalito, Carlifornia.
At the Green Gulch Zen center the food was totally organic and prepared by the community at the center and the food was totally vegetarian.Most of the vegetables if not all were grown right at the farm. Potatoes of all kinds of varieties found in the Western coast of the US, lettuces, cauliflowers, brussel sprouts, beats and spinach, cabbages and carrots and just about every kind of herbs and fruit trees all from the fields and garden of the Green Gulch Zen Community and all grown with love and tender loving care of Zen Practice. Waht made the food more tasty was the fact that they were consumed with a great sense of heightened awareness, the result of spiritual practices such as meditations and holistic living. How interesting that the same vegetable would taste alot different prepared and eaten under different circumstances and environment. The name Edward Espe brown came to mind everytime I look back upon my food days at Green Gulch, one of my Zen Instructors and one tiem head Chef of the Greens Restaurant in Downtown San Francisco. Ed was one of a kind Zen Teacher whose sense of humor had kept us student from falling asleep on many Dahrma talks and he helped to make the Practice seems less tight and constricted with all its precetps and rituals. Ed can whip up a vegetarian dish like no one can along the Paciffic Seaboard. During my practice periods at the Green Gulch Zen Community I was given to wear Ed's First ordained robes which by then was falling apart at the seams but added to the aesthetic rustic look of a Zen priest.

Peter Rudnick was on the other hand the Baker of Zen Center and at the same time he was also the Farm head who knew the fields all the way from the one end of the Green Gulch valley to the Muir Beach where the Paciffic ocean meets the coastline of Marin County, California. Acres and acres of fields of vegetables was ploughed by Peter and his crew and when not working the fields he was busy toiling in the kitchen preparing his well known Tassajjara Bakery, bread and pasteries. At night when all is quiet, you might catch him in his small study pouring over his collection of the La Devino De Commedea or The Devine Comedy of which he had hundreds of books and I was the fortunate few to be allowed into this private world of his. Peter was one of the first Zen students that had studied under Shunryu Suzuki Roshi the founder of the San Francisco Zen Center and he was formerly a Jersey Boy whose father was a baker.

The Garden as it was known was often times during the summer months was a fairyland of flowers and of many varieties of herbs and fruits. Wendy Jhonson the white haired Queen with the greenest thumb cared for the garden like it was her life and practice. Working with Wendy was an inspiration in itself and anyone who had had the opportunity to have rubbed shoulders with this lady of the earth will leave the practice with an unforgetable experience. Whether it be hoeing or tilling the compose piles or transplanting the lillies, it was never just hard work it was every step a lesson worth more than money can buy. Wendy's personality was like that of a elder sister whose love and compassion towards everyone was contagious even for one like myself who was nothing but trouble for the community most of the time. Wendy and Peter had two children back then and how I miss them all!

Zen master Dogen was said to have said that."A day of no work is a Day of No Food."

If i believe in the workings of the Buddhist Karmic consequences I think i might be reborn into the realm of the Hungry Ghosts, Heavens Forbid! It may too late to repent now but I was a hog even when i was lving at the Zen Monastery then again who was not? Those who were not, those who had a handle on the eating habits back then, they were the enlightened ones and they deserved to be so, nver had I met and lived with so many enlightened beings, people who came and surrenderd themselves to the harsh and rigorous practice of Zen Buddhism in its modern age. I may never wade into the same river twice but if ever i get the opportunity i would like to sit again in the Green Dragon Zendo and look at my 'self' how far or how near i ave been since I left the Monastery.

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