Friday, August 04, 2006

coming to terms with life, liberty and the quest for Inner Truth

The road is long,
With many a many a windy turns... that leads us to where,
Hu knows where...

Am I strong enough to ride the next rebound that Allah has given me , to ride the wave of change outter and inner, to climb the next step up to Haguro Temple? The journey towards Inner SANCTUM OF MY SOUL HAS BEGUN! Allah HU'Akhbar! The Lord of compassion and Mercy, the Lord LOve and Giving.There is none, only HU. The Lord of Power... The All knower... Ommnipresent Omni Science Lord of the Universes... Creator of the Day Of Judgemnet and of Heaven and Hell... and Blessings and All Praise be to Our Prohet the Rasul of Allah, the Leader of Man, the Sultan of sultans.
The journey deserves a better ending than to be frittered away with Nonsensicle daily trials and tribulation, the Journey has to die and be reborn into the Next realm of the conciousness of The Maker, the ourney towards The Lord of Creation is the journey of the humble fakir who has taken many disguises and personalities throughout his life, often treating it with irreverence especially when it comes to my commitment towards the women in my life, in the words of childhood love, Allah is taking care of your sins NOw not waiting for you to spend your time in it when you are dead; the journey has just begun. The journey of a thousand leagues begins with the first step from the center of the heart where the light of faith shines, the journey of a thousand miles begins with the first motion of thought.
Read! Gibrail said to the Prophet,
Read in the Name of Your Lord, that there is none other, only Allah! and that Muhammad is the Messenger.
I am a Jahilliah when it comes to understanding of Islam, I cannot read the Qur'an in its original langguage except for some few rudimentary verses enough to pray four Raka'ats that just about it. I read the Yasin through learning it in its Romanized translitteration and listenning to the tapes as read by Ustaz I used to buy at the Islamic Store. I enjoy Tahlils as it moves me deeper into the feeling of the verses like a hipnotic chant, Laa..Ila..Ha'IllaAllah! There is NoGod, Only Allah! While in deep chanting of this La Faz my body drops into the Universe and I often feel relief, unburdened, empty and Happy. I become One with my Love, My heart felt cleansed yet of another layer of dirt accumulated all through the years I have lived my life. Its is like peelig layer after layer of the onion skin or skinning a Buck in the Forest of Wisconsin. I am writing not to impress anyone of what I know or understand but I writing to ease the pain in my heart, to find the road back, to postion myself for the takeoff, to launch my soul in the right direction towards the Lord of Power, to come as close the Rasul of Allah to touch the Throne of the Al- Mighty failling which I have not trully understood Islam.
And if I should die before I come anywhere close to Hu's Throne, I will die knowing that I have committed to writing my thoughts and feelings about this Life that i have lived so far, I have taken the first step from my innermost sacred chamber of my heart out of the light towards darkness. I have entered religion through the back door for my light can only remain a light so long as there is darkness, I have a dual thinking mind, yes and No, right and wrong...Yin and Yang, cause and effect, I am a living breathing human and out breathing every second in and out, inan out, I make this journey as best I can, that I do not wander off from the straight and narrow at least that I cannot find my way back untill I can becomt one with my Lord my journey towards Hu is forever happening inside of me deep with my Heart.