Got up this morning, my day off, thank God for little favors, si decided to clear my rooms of the dust that seems to ever persistant in every noo and crannies of the rooms. I have no hope of my teenage son ever geing of help when it comes to housekeeping hecant even put his own underwear into the cloaths basket. Such is when you become a bachelor dad and not making enough to give your kid his daily pocket money when he leaves for school. I am definitely hitting thr bedrock financially and dont see much light at the end of the drak tunnel. Sahme fully I hate to admit that my burden is being lightened by my daughter being adopted by my cousin and her daily and school needs is being cared for. I miss her very much and I feel very sad as I feel like I am slowly loosing her to someone else. Nothing at present hurts me more deep inside and mu soul is screaming out within at the pain and the helplessness I am feeling.
And my son simply comes home just to shower and sleep otherwise he too spents his time at the neighbor's mostly watching the Astro. Things are definitely not going too well for teh Baharis as we are getting ripped apart left and right and there is very little I am able to do to keep the family together. My wife thank God will not know of what is going on with us here as she is off in her own world Allah have mercy on her and keeps her safe and well cared for, I miss her very much too. As for my family here, I have stopped thinking about what they can or cannot do to help me in these times of need. To ask for any help from my brothers would only mean having to be kicked in my guts now that I am down and the less said the better it is on the subject.
So, where? what? How? I am going to dig for potatoes with my friend Cikgu Yusof at his friend's farm, that's whast i will do as soon as I had my lunch at his house. What comes next who knows and only Allah in His infinite mercy can decided what's right and what's wrong for me and my family and so to Hu I surrender my will and my destiny.
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My good pal Shamsul. Do you remember playing guitar together and playing soccer at Rossi Park in San Fran? I do miss you my friend and wish you the very best in your quest for contentment. As you used to tell me "such is life", in the best Buddhist approach. Are you still attached to Buddhism?
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