Saturday, April 02, 2005

The Rebound

There is only so much testing that a man can take I told my friend Rafi yesterday and God is testing me to the max so much so that I flipped while praying the evening prayer. I had finished praying and was in the effort of making my besieging or to put it plainly asking God to lend me a hand like I always do at the end of every prayer and suddenly out of nowhere a par of me just shouted out ... AAHH Enough of This, ... I am begging, and it seems to get worse by the day! I was shocked at the outburst myself as it came out of me so spontaneously. From somewhere deep within me I harbor so much anger and frustration at life that if I were to be alone in this lkife today I would have joined Osama Ben Ladin or just blow myself up or good measure. I mean at present life sucks!



The former Prime minister of Malaysia, once asked what makes a terrorist , he is looking at one except that I am a little too late in my age to be carrying out suicide bombings and so I take my 'Jihad on the Blog!'. I had mentioned earlier that the purpose of my having this blog site is to act as a cartharsis to vent out all my anger and frustrations while at the same time share what is the best of my creative works, after all it is called a rambling of the Cheeseburger Buddha and ramblings it is.

The Telekom called yesterday and gave me a warning that my phone would be cut off unless I pay and this was after I had payed half of what I owed them a week ago. I should saved that money and let them sweat it out of me but I thought I was doing half the right thing. It took them 3 months to install my phone line after I moved into my present house. Their lame excuse when I finally confronted their service men at their ofice here was that they could not locate the house! A phone company that brags about its services and how much profit it makes every end of the fiscal year swears to me that they could not locate the house!

Now I am unable to make the payment for two months and their bounty hunters are ringging my phone with threats of depriving me of the necessity for communiction. So all you good people who calls on me every so often to find out if I am alive or dead please forgive me if I do not call back, this I just a temporary set back untill the next Tsunami hits.

Yes God is testing me and the Buddha would have said that it is my Karmic consequences playing itself out. At my age I am still haggling about life exposing myself to the world of my shortcomings and rationalyizing myself of every mess that I have created in the effort to justify my existance fully acknowledging Lao Tzu's wise words that "A man who justifies does not convince, not even to himself."

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

God loves it to give you fairness in a humorus way!

What I mean is just that I think that god gives us a
number of good days in
life and a number of bad days in our life, and after
we had a number of days
with a good mornings wich show us how beautyfull
(we/they/you)'re, we have a
number of days with a bad morning on wich
(we/they/you) think that everybody
wants to piss you of (what's maybe right).

So you can say it's not important to try to have
only good days, because you
will have bad days anyway. But the point is to
ignore the bad days and be
thankfull for the good days. Sounds a little bit
like I gave up fighting against
destiny(or what ever is important) but I think it's not always about pressing the best out of your days
but also about accepting things (I love to be
tolerant, and so I'm tolerant on
bad days too...)

So if my days are too bad I think about the good
days that may come and that
there is always somebody who have worse days than the ones of my own.

And if I feel that my mind's climbing too high
(Like Cloud 7-20) I just
think about the fact that there are a lot of people
with better days than mine.

TV's a wonderfull help for that you can see the joy
and the sorrows of other
people and it doesn't metter if they're real or just an
imagination, because it's just about not forgetting that there are things to see you can do if you want and things that show you how bad Life really can be...